April showers bring May Flowers or so the saying goes. But April showers may also bring May showers. While I like the spring, the unpredictability of the season is hard to deal with.
But much like the weather, life is unpredictable. One minute we are enjoying the high temperatures and sun and the next day, we’re stuck outside on a cold, cloudy day. We have to adjust to the conditions and push through regardless of how we feel or how the day is going.
This spring has been quite the roller coaster ride. One day it’s close to 70 out and the next is in the 30s. The wardrobe consists of shorts, short sleeve, winter coats, sweaters and light coats because you never know day to day.
We don’t know what each day will be like. We can only prepare and adjust each day, just like we have multiple clothes out and may change them throughout the day depending on this crazy weather.
I felt like springs “back in the day” were always cold, really cold. Softball season was often freezing. Your non-glove hand was always cold when you were out in the field. You’d blow on your hands to warm up which really did nothing but you felt like you were doing something.
It was rainy. As a pitcher I hated rain or wet fields. I would either need to stick a towel in my back pant pocket which I hated or wipe the ball on my uniform any time it went on the grass outfield or got wet. Pitching a wet ball was the worse and I know I got mental about it. Instead of adjusting to the conditions I let the rain and wet conditions bother me.
The lack of adjustment is something I can’t do with this cancer. I’ve had to adjust a lot and still have a lot of adjusting left to do. I can’t control the cancer just like I can’t control the rain so I might as well figure out how to best get through living with and fighting this disease. That means more rest, better diet, many doctor visits and multiple surgeries. But I’ll do whatever I need to live as long as I can and beat this disease.
The wind. Another weather element we can’t control. Not as much of a factor in softball or at least I don’t remember it being one other than making it more cold. In track, wind was a factor. In distance events, you would have one windy side of the track and one that was not. Even if you got pushed on one side of the track, it didn’t make up for the running into the wind side. And when you’re running a 5k, that’s 12 laps around the track and 12 times running into the wind.
With cancer, there’s a lot working against you like the wind. There’s also a lot, especially a lot of people, helping push you forward. As I’ve said multiple times, I have such great and supportive family and friends who have helped me every step of the way. I have a great medical team working together to figure out the best treatment plan for me.
Weather wouldn’t affect track, where we run through anything including driving rain storms. But it could cancel softball games. I remember junior year of high school it rained for what seemed like two straight weeks and we had to keep pushing back our playoff game against Pennington. We were stuck practicing indoors which as those who played know, was never as much fun as being outdoors and hard to simulate and do what you’re able to do on the real field.
With cancer a lot has to be changed due to the diagnosis. I had to immediately stop working, which was not planned, but necessary to have the time and energy required to begin treatments. It was not a good time to stop as I had so much to sort out with the pool for the spring, but I had to stop and adjust to what this storm that hit required I do.
Sometimes it snows in the spring. We’ve gotten snow in March and April. In high school, we came back from our spring break trip to Arizona and had snow in our first practice back in NJ. (And that’s why Northeast high schools and colleges will go south for spring training.) We had snow in April. I never expected to have to worry about snow when I was due with an April baby, but there was a snow storm a week before I had Reese.
The weather can be very unpredictable and throw us something unexpected. I thought I was a healthy 40 year old and receiving a cancer diagnosis was the last thing I ever imagined. But like the weather, I can’t change it and had to change my focus on what I needed to do to beat this disease.
Another weather-related thing from the spring is pollen. It’s very high this time of year, making it pretty awful for us seasonal allergy sufferers. But nature needs the pollen so we take our allergy meds or do our best to get through the sniffles and sneezes until summer.
Chemo is not fun but is often necessary to treat cancer. So I’ve learned to deal with the nausea and fatigue that comes with each treatment, knowing I’m getting one step closer to being done and one step closer to hopefully remission. The same will apply when it comes to surgery which I’m really dreading.
Despite these negative weather things we associate with spring, there’s also a lot of good things that come as well.
The temperatures start to get warmer. Yes there’s a lot of fluctuating temps in the spring, but generally by May we start to get more steady and warm weather.
The flowers and trees start to bloom. While they bring lots of pollen, they also bring hope and new life. Cancer brings a lot of bad with it, but it does leave me with a positive perspective on a lot of things in life.
There is more sun in the spring. The days are longer and the sun is out more. After a cloudy, cold winter this is always something to look forward to.
We learn to adjust to the weather just like we learn to adjust to whatever we face in life.
After all, “life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.” And I’m working on dancing as much as I can this spring!
