It’s hard when you can’t do much and you see friends and relatives out and about. It’s one of the negatives of spending time on Facebook.
But this weekend was particularly hard. I will slowly be able to do more but this first weekend after my surgery was the hardest and my most limited. We didn’t have any help Saturday which placed a huge burden on Chris who did amazing while I remained mostly useless as I recover from my bilateral mastectomy.
It was hard seeing so many beach pics when it’s a place I would sure as hell love to be on this extremely hot weekend but instead I’ve been mostly in bed resting and reading. It’s even harder to see when sources of help spent the time there, but it’s not fair to expect help, but sometimes you need it.
But on an exciting note, I did take a shower today, assisted by my husband. It was my first attempt since surgery. And it did feel good to have a normal shower instead of using bathing wipes but while my drains are still in, showering is quite a chore and process.
I can’t complain because I normally do a lot and am out and about but now that I’m limited, like really limited, it’s hard. I love the summer and admittedly am very jealous I can’t be doing what I want.
But this summer like this year is about survival. And that meant chemo and surgery and a lot of resting and not going out and that’s ok. My health is the most important thing right now so I can be here as long as possible for my crew who keep me going everyday.
So instead of getting down even though I’m limited and frustrated I’ll focus on the positive. I’m done what I hope is the final step in this cancer battle with this surgery. The surgery went well and I’m slowly (very very slowly) feeling slightly better each day since the surgery. I’ve been able to watch lots of TV, which has consisted of a lot of Family Guy. That show always makes me laugh even if I’ve seen episodes multiple times before. I can lie in bed and nap and try (note I said try) not to feel guilty. I finished two books over the last 3 days and just started another. I love good murder mysteries.
And today I took a shower. Small steps, small progress. It may not be a day or weekend at the beach but it’s a step towards normalcy. And for me right now while I’m in survival mode that’s pretty darn good.
#bilateralmastectomy #breastreconstruction #surgeryrecovery #onetoughmother
