One thing I’ve been working on through therapy is not taking on additional stress. Having five kids is stressful. Having cancer is very stressful. Being pregnant while having cancer is incredibly stressful. I have had enough going on, I don’t need to take on additional stuff that really doesn’t affect me but I have a habit of taking on.
Social media is one of those love/hate things where it’s good at times but other times just creates jealousy, anger and other emotions. I should stay away from it but I just can’t help myself. One thing I’ve improved but could still use some work on, is not worrying about posts that have no affect on me which is pretty much every post on social media.
Now a particularly interesting social media thing is moms groups. Most of the time I read and laugh to myself at all the complaints. Like come on people there’s bigger things in life. But on occasion these groups do provide useful information like when you could view your kids’ teachers for this year which was last Friday at 4 PM.
Anyway, as a member of several mom groups, one mom who apparently is having a baby this week posted asking if anyone had a specific type of formula because “she was going to breastfeed but changed her mind.”
As someone that would have loved to have breastfed my last baby this upset me a great deal.
I couldn’t breastfeed due to cancer but you just changed your mind, why because it’s hard? Well guess what, having a baby is hard and a lot of work. Breastfeeding is exhausting and a lot of work but it’s what was best for my kids and I would have done the same for Bryce if I could have.
Breastfeeding is also a lot cheaper than formula. And it’s also a lot easier because your boobs are always ready and won’t run out of milk unless you choose to stop. As my luck would have, I had a baby during a national formula shortage where there was a scramble to find any formula, forget a specific type.
So I shouldn’t have gotten so fired up about a post and a mother who doesn’t want to breastfeed but I did. I get the whole fed is best but do believe breast is best. Unfortunately I couldn’t do that for Bryce this time and so it is upsetting that someone who could is just choosing not to and trying to get formula for free. If you don’t want to pay use the free milk you will produce!!
I will also add that this mom has asked what seems to be hundreds of questions about pregnancy and babies which I know this is the age we are in with technology but how much of having a baby is just going with the flow and learning on the way. What works for one baby or household may not work for yours. What happened with birth or doctors for one mother may not happen for you. The most predictable thing about having a baby is that it’s unpredictable. A lot of it involves learning and adjusting along the way.
This same mom also has been banned from several mom groups because she has apparently asks for free stuff which she then consigns to make money which is just terrible. So I know I’m being extra salty towards her attempts to get free formula when people like me who had no choice and couldn’t breastfeed had to scramble to get formula and she just doesn’t want to breastfeed.
Well enough of my ramble. I let something unimportant get to me on social media that I shouldn’t have and that I really have done better with thanks to therapy. This mom doesn’t matter or affect me at all so why care?
But I cared because I try so hard to be good mother and do what is best for my kids. And what is best is not always easy. Being a mom is exhausting. And breastfeeding is exhausting but I did it for all four kids that I was able to including for 18 months with my girls.
You can’t change your mind as a mom and do what’s easy. There’s lot of seemingly “annoying” things we have to do as moms: change diapers, wipe toddler butts, break up fights between siblings, watch the same tv show over and over to keep sanity in the house to name just a few. Because being a parent isn’t easy. You adapt as you go and figure out what is best. If you want things easy, don’t have kids because life is hard with kids. But it’s also the best job you’ll ever have no matter how hard it is.
Sorry for the judgmental, rambling post. I got too fired up about something that doesn’t effect me. I’m working on it but it still gets to me every now and then.
#breastcancerbattle #chemo #chemotherapy #pregnantwithcancer #mastectomy #unabletobreastfeed #beingamomishard #donttaketheeasywayout #momofive #onetoughmother #sorryfortherant