It’s a challenge to be a mom. There’s a lot to keep track of in addition to all the daily duties you have to do for young kids like cook meals, clean up, pick out clothes, laundry etc.
It’s an even greater challenge to be a working mom. You have to fit all these things in and work your required hours and remember deadlines for this on top of all the parenting stuff. But I’m the one with the benefits so I gotta do it.
It’s a far greater challenge to be a working mom of five kids. There’s so much to keep track of and now that I am fully immersed in work it’s overwhelming. The semester just started back up at Mercer and things are busy. And returning to all this after a roughly year long battle with cancer makes it that much crazier.
Motherhood is hard not just because of all the physical things we take care of but the mental load. It’s remembering and keeping track of everything. In the past week these things to remember include signing up the boys for spring baseball, ordering Reese’s dance recital accessories, that Chase’s basketball game time changed this Saturday, he has a concert and must wear white and black last night, register Reese for kindergarten and less important stuff like what spirit day is each Friday so the boys wear the right gear, milestone photos for Bryce, getting out Eagles gear for the big playoff games and are there any weekend events we want to check out.
Then there’s remembering work zoom calls that seem to keep popping up for things I don’t even know I’m supposed to be involved in, finalizing plans for cancer awareness night next week and trying to generate timely articles for our website.
And I taught an online winter class which ended yesterday. Grades are due shortly. The spring semester started and I’m teaching one online class that just started. I thought I was just teaching the wellness portion online but learned I’m doing the whole thing and feel lost two days into the semester.
And I have my own doctor appointments to stay on top off including the next steps for breast reconstruction which failed twice on one side. And there’s grocery shopping to keep up with…turns out with 5 kids you go through a lot quickly.
And with local college semesters starting this week, we have one returning sitter for the kids in the mornings and a new one in the afternoons and we may need and get a third sitter to feel in some gaps who I’m talking with tomorrow. And our morning sitter has been out sick all week so I’ve been juggling working from home and watching the kids. And the house off course gets messy and we have too much stuff and I gotta listen to my dad criticize this during his weekly visit to play with his grandkids.
And there’s still managing my resentment towards my replacement who I dread seeing when I go into work, handling the loss of my position and office, the constant anxiety over anything off with my body, the exhaustion from all things cancer related, the added mixed emotions planning my first cancer night at our basketball game since I’ve had cancer. And damn it’s a lot.
Have I taken on all this and done this to myself yes. But shit it’s been a hell of a week and I’m ready to pump the breaks and say please this is too much! I’ll get through this and continue to adjust to being back at work and my new role and to the hectic lifestyle associated with five kids. But today I’m whining and venting because sometimes you just need to get it out.
Life is good even if it’s insanely busy and crazy right now. There is no such thing as a work life balance, it’s just a juggling act. And I still got a lot of practice before I come close to mastering this!
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