Today is a bit emotional for me. My final baby is turning one. But that’s not why I am so emotional. This birthday hits hard because of all this one year old has gone through to get here.
This boy went through half my chemo with me, the harder half, the A/C, nicknamed “the red devil.” The fear and uncertainty I had until I held him in my arms was like no fear I had ever known. I felt helpless in protecting the baby inside me.
Then came a brief scare at a 36 week ultrasound when fluid was found around the baby’s heart. The following week I had a fetal echocardiogram with a pediatric cardiologist from CHOP. Thankfully the echocardiogram looked normal and the cardiologist was not concerned. But I still worried.
At my many non stress tests leading up to his birth Bryce always had a high heart rate. It turns out he was not camera shy and was just very active during these tests. But I still worried.
Measurements looked good and healthy and so did the many ultrasounds in the final weeks of my pregnancy but I still worried about the little man growing inside me.
And then this special date came, 2/22/22 and it was a Tuesday. And after a long wait due to an induction our little miracle was finally in my arms. And he was healthy and just perfect.
This time last year was also full of anxiety for me. I still had to undergo half my chemo and a double mastectomy. Would the treatment work?
Thankfully I stand here today free or cancer and hoping and praying I stay that way. I have my hair and my health, neither which I had this time last year.
And I still have my healthy little man who is not so little anymore. This is my fifth child and I don’t remember any of the other four smiling as much as Bryce does. He just radiates joy. His smile fills his entire face and truly lights up a room.
With this guy I don’t care about the milestones or outfits or perfect pics, I just care about the fact that I have another healthy baby. He is a miracle that underwent so much before his arrival. He gave me so much positive to focus on during the toughest time in my life and he brings joy to everyone he spends time with. He’s also incredibly cute and handsome or at least I think so, but that doesn’t matter. This little guy is so special and means so much to me because he of all he overcame. He is hope, he is strength, he is perfect.
This birthday is such a special occasion because Bryce is a chemo baby. Bryce saved my life and I will never forget how special this baby boy and birthday is.
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