The title of this post is from a 90s movie, The Net. This thriller about cyberterrorism starred Sandra Bullock. This was on back before streaming when the same few movies would be on over and over on the cable movie channels, back when Starz was Prism!
Anyway my Mom was somewhat obsessed with this movie so we watched it a lot. In the movie Bullock has her identity stolen and that’s where the line “It’s like I’m not even me anymore” comes in.
Over the weekend this movie came on (much to my delight) and I was reminded of this line. And I couldn’t help but think of what I’ve been through with my health. I haven’t felt like myself because well, I’ve been through a lot.
Following brain surgery I had to learn how to do basic things like walking up steps and showering and needed much help for these daily tasks. While I’m able to do 30 minute walks now and have done some pretty intense physical therapy exercises, there are still times my left leg still is a little off. It’s gotten so much better but it’s not like it was before all this. I’m getting close but not what I was.
But even if I’m not quite who I was, I’m here. And I’m doing the best I can do with what I have. Much like Bullock did what she had to, to regain her identity when it was stolen in The Net.
So I may not have the endurance or strength I had but I’m slowly regaining it, just as Bullock had to work to regain her life after everything have it turned upside down.
My safety net was let go with the recurrence of my cancer but I’m ready to fight for my life like Bullock or Angela Bennett in The Net. We have to learn to fend our way through life no matter what is thrown at us and that’s what I’m doing.
Thankfully I’m starting to feel like me again, even if I’m not 100%. That identity is slowly coming back and in regaining confidence as I get stronger and able to do more.
I’ll get there or as close as I can because I’m one tough mother.
#thenet #sandrabullock #angelabennett #brainsurgery #physicaltherapy #onetoughmother